7 tips to overcome your workplace bully

It is part of the parcel of our life. Whether we confront or ignore it, it all depends on individual upbringing. Workplace bullying can cause significant stress, anxiety, depression, trauma, high blood pressure, gastrointestinal issues, etc. Here are the seven tips on how to overcome your workplace bully.

A recent incident in the Penang government hospital saw a 25-year-old fresher houseman jump from a building. What a shame!. Only the government takes serious action, as it had long swept under the carpet.

7 tips to overcome your workplace bully

Dealing with bullying can be overwhelming. So we asked the experts for advice.

1. Speak Up Frequently

“The best things is to speak up right away if someone mistreats you because everyone prefers the path of least resistance. The good news is that you have time to intervene before becoming a long-term target of a workplace bully. The expert suggests:

Highlight their values: “I know you really want everyone to feel valued, but doing X undermines that intention. Could we try Y later?”

Describe the issue: Try “I notice you X, and that makes it difficult for us to work as a team.”

Repeat their name: “I hear you, Tim, please stop doing this to  X. I respect you, Tim, and I expect you to respect me.”

Remember your body language. Tall, arms at your sides, nose up. “Fear of standing up will show in folded arms, hunched shoulders, and looking down.”

Please remember that ignore bullying will only make it worse. “People often let it go,” he says. The target may not correct the power imbalance once it has been established. By then, it may be too late.

If you speak up after months of being bullied, the abuse is unlikely to stop and may even worsen. So, please reconsider for not taking any action on it.

7 tips to overcome your workplace bully

2. Record the bully at Your Work

Start documenting if you didn’t realise how serious your situation was until later and you feel you missed your chance to react.

Keep a journal of who, what, when, where, and why things happen. “If the bullying occurs during a staff meeting, note all attendees saying the facts of the circumstances.” If you report the bully later, be prepared to provide specific examples of their actions.

Start saving emails and other evidence that supports your story. If your boss criticises your performance, gather evidence that shows excellent results of your projects and praise-filled emails from different shareholders.

3. Personal Care Outside of Work

How to overcome your workplace bully

Bullying can affect you both at work and home. You need to balance the  negative and positive aspect that can help go out from the darkness.

“If possible, get involved in activities that boost your confidence  about yourself,” he advises. “Join a softball team, learning a new leisure activity like yoga, or  go for a retreat whatever makes you happy.” Encourage your friends and family to support you, but be aware that constantly complaining about your job could strain relationships.

Also, consider speak out to a therapist or counsellor. Find someone who understands the  trauma that you had undergone, he advises. Make an inquiry for  trauma-informed counsellors for help.

7 tips to overcome your workplace bully

4. Research

Does your company have a policy against bullying, mistreatment, verbal abuse, or anything similar? Bullying isn’t illegal, so many companies don’t have a policy. Check your employee handbook  that outlines the company’s values and expectations. A complaint based on black and white will only strengthen your case.

Consider getting legal advice to see if your situation qualifies as harassment or if you have other legal options. The experts suggest “renting” an employment attorney who specialises in harassment and discrimination cases for a half-hour or an hour and telling your story concisely to get an idea of your options.

5. Inform Your Boss (or Someone Else, if Your Boss Is the Bully)

If you’ve tried everything and nothing has worked, He suggests talking to your manager (assuming they aren’t the bully). narrate what’s going on. “I tried these three things and none worked, so I came to your office,” he says. Rather than saying, ‘This person is bullying me,’ ‘Can you help?’

If your boss is the issue, consider whether you trust one of their peers or a superior enough to seek their advice. The point is to assess your specific situation and the company’s relationships.

Going to the person who hired your bully or worked with them previously is probably not a good idea. You wouldn’t trust their work with a relative (with a family company). In case it reaches the bully, it could worsen the situation.

7 tips to overcome your workplace bully

6. Talk to HR or a Powerful Influencer

Before you contact HR, do a few things.

Decide first who to contact. Expert advice consult a high-ranking individual with “a plan to save money” rather than HR (more on that in a second). Whether to go to HR depends on the HR person.

One type of HR person focuses on compliance and rules, while the other focuses on culture and people.” You may struggle with the former, but “they don’t need a corporate policy to help you.”

Consider how you can present a business case rather than a personal plea to whomever you approach. The expert suggests calculating the bully’s cost to the company regarding turnover, absenteeism, lost productivity, etc. Your file of documentation can also help at this stage by providing concrete examples of time and resource waste.

Finally, consider your desires. “Do you want them to know, or do you want their help?” Do you want this person moved? HR needs to know. “And what if you don’t get what you want?” If you say you’ll leave, that’s fine. “Your dignity, self-respect, and psychological well-being are so much more important than your paycheck,” he says.

Easy way to overcome your workplace bully

7. Find a New Job

In reality, most cases of workplace bullying result in the victim quitting or being fired (sometimes because their performance suffered so much under the stress of long-term abuse).

So start looking for a new job as soon as possible, especially if your current employer lacks a policy or culture that you trust to eradicate swiftly on bullying. Even if you decide not to leave before talking to HR, having an offer or at least prospects lined up can help if things go wrong.

7 tips to overcome your workplace bully

What to Do If You Witness Bullying

Bullying can affect anyone, not just the bully or the target. “If you see it, know it’s happening, and do nothing, you are allowing it,” the expert says.

Speak up if you feel comfortable doing so. “Hey, what’s up?” an expert suggests. Let’s not talk like that.”

7 tips to overcome your workplace bully

“State the problem, with the consequences, and find a solution,” an expert guide on, “Hey [Name], I noticed you’re yelling. Raising your voice disrupts meetings and shuts down ideas. Doing so in front of everyone makes it easier to speak up and encourages others to do so. Maybe we can all agree to keep quiet to get through the brainstorming.”

You can also quietly ask your coworkers if they’ve noticed anything and agree to collaborate. That could mean you all commit to reporting bullying behaviour in real-time or taking turns going to HR.

If is a peer manager or a subordinate is the bully, take them aside, try to reason with them, and advise the expert. It’s difficult to stop a bully if the company has no such policy.

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